Scoreboard

 

“Don’t you ever get tired of holding on to people?”

It’s a question that comes up more often than expected. Sometimes directly, sometimes hidden between words like 'clingy,' or 'too much,'. There was a time I might’ve agreed. A time when silence stung, and unreciprocated efforts felt like rejection. Back then, I used to overthink a text that didn’t get a reply or wonder why I always had to be the one who reached out first.

That’s changed.

These days, I don’t hold on to people out of fear they’ll leave. I don’t reach out hoping they’ll stay. I send messages, check in, share little thoughts because I want to. Because it’s part of who I am. It doesn’t come with any expectation or a scoreboard.

It takes ten seconds to send a thinking of you message. Maybe a minute to share a meme that reminded me of someone. A short call to say, 'I saw your favourite snack today and thought of you.' Small things. Nothing grand. Just everyday reminders that someone matters.

Sometimes, there’s no reply. Sometimes, it’s a thumbs-up emojis, reactions or a delayed response a week later. I don’t let that make me upset anymore. I still smile while sending the message. I still mean every word.

The world constantly tells us not to care too much. That showing too much affection is risky. That we should 'match energies and vibes', 'never text first' and similar nonsense quotes. Social media often paints love and friendship like a game, with rules and punishments for those who break them. Or more like a job! Purely transactional.  But real life isn’t a reel , a game or a job! It’s far more human.

We all carry our own patterns. Some people are expressive. Others aren’t. Some reply immediately; some read and process quietly. Not everyone will express care the way I do. That doesn’t mean it’s not there.

I’ve learned not to take someone’s silence as rejection. It could simply be life happening. A bad day, a busy hour, a tired mind (sadly, most people don't think about this!). We don’t always have the space to respond to everything, and that’s okay. I’ve been on both ends and I’ve forgotten to reply too.

Still, I’ll send the good morning text. I’ll remember birthdays. I’ll check if you got home safe, if you had food, how was your day etc. Because I want the people I care about to know they’re not alone in this world. Ever.

That doesn’t make me weak. It makes me consistent.

It doesn’t mean I don’t value myself. In fact, it means I value myself enough to keep being who I am, no matter how others behave. My self-worth isn’t tied to how many replies I get. It’s tied to how authentically I show up in the world.

Not everyone will love me the way I love them. That’s a fact I’ve come to accept without bitterness. We’re all wired differently. Some people will stay. Others will drift. I’ll meet new people. I’ll keep growing. What matters is that I never lose the parts of me that feel deeply and love gently.

Honestly, isn’t it something?! How the people in my life are so meaningful, so beautifully ordinary, that even the smallest details feel worth sharing? A passing moment, a funny thought, a familiar smell. Life isn’t just made of big achievements, dramatic heartbreaks, or once-in-a-lifetime events. It’s built in the in-betweens. The Tea or coffee breaks. The late night songs. The inside jokes. The habit of remembering!?

In fact, isn’t it a beautiful thing that there are people who are so good and so worthy of love, that I feel like telling them the tiniest things? Isn’t that what makes life feel full? Not just the grand victories or the painful losses, but the everyday ordinary things. The small updates. The shared glances. The casual I thought of you today.

So if you’re someone who wonders whether you should keep reaching out, if it’s worth it. Maybe ask yourself this: Do you like doing it? Does it reflect who you are? If yes, then don’t hold yourself back. Send the text. Share the memory. Leave the voice note. Not for attention. Not for validation. Just because it feels good. Good to be kind.

Because someone out there might smile when they see it. Even if they don’t respond, you stayed true to yourself. That’s a quiet kind of strength not everyone sees but you’ll feel it. Be the one who remembers than the one who forgets. :)